Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
