Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
