i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
