3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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