Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
