Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
