Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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