on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
