True but thats because hes a fetus.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
