how can u be prego again
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
