He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
