so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
