It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
