they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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