I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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