so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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