I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
