Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
