we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We need to get me chipped asap
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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