I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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