I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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