i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
