so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
