Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
