Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
