We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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