Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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