Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
