bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
