Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
