Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
