Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
