then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
