Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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