Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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