He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
