Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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