he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
