There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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