And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
