You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
