there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
