i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
