Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Randomize
