We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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