Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
