I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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