It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
