just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
