I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
